Ok, not really. I want to use this blog as a way to get my thoughts in order.
Figure out what I want to do. I know I'm talking like a serious nerd but I figured now, in all honesty, I would give up everything I have right now just to get where I want to be.
In year 9, everyone's like "whateverrrr", yeah well most of the people I'm close to anyway.
but now I'm really thinking, where will that get me ?
Today I asked around, I don't know why, maybe holidays have made me weirder than usual, what they want to do at uni. I didn't ask beyond that because that's sort of intense, right ?
well anyways, most people were like "uhh...i don't know ? "
LOL because it's like we don't know what other jobs there are other than the ones centering around med, law and probably something related to business or commerce. that's a downside of ruse if you think about it.
you have like no idea what other professions there are.
I found it really strange that no one knew what they wanted to do.
because, not because of my family or whatever anyone tells me to do, I've known I've wanted to do med for like years now. I feel like I won't be happy with anything else. maybe I'm just weird but tbh, it's the full truth. I want to be a doctor. I want to go places & help to really know deep down that I'm making a difference.
I just don't know how I'm going to get there; so many smarter people & I feel so useless right now. It seems so far away.
a few years from now, I want to look back on this post & go "i thought of it first"
you know what I mean ?
so today, did the 1.6km & handed in srp. such a busy first day back.
cleaned out my room but did no study whatsoever. I need more determination, or what's the word ? I don't know but so far I'm totally prepared to give up my social life LOL, ok no, love everyone too much to do that. other people are more important than want I want. I just have to remind myself of that sometimes; it's so hard. :S
ok, next post of progress for next time. (:

x3

Ok, not really. I want to use this blog as a way to get my thoughts in order.
Figure out what I want to do. I know I'm talking like a serious nerd but I figured now, in all honesty, I would give up everything I have right now just to get where I want to be.
In year 9, everyone's like "whateverrrr", yeah well most of the people I'm close to anyway.
but now I'm really thinking, where will that get me ?
Today I asked around, I don't know why, maybe holidays have made me weirder than usual, what they want to do at uni. I didn't ask beyond that because that's sort of intense, right ?
well anyways, most people were like "uhh...i don't know ? "
LOL because it's like we don't know what other jobs there are other than the ones centering around med, law and probably something related to business or commerce. that's a downside of ruse if you think about it.
you have like no idea what other professions there are.
I found it really strange that no one knew what they wanted to do.
because, not because of my family or whatever anyone tells me to do, I've known I've wanted to do med for like years now. I feel like I won't be happy with anything else. maybe I'm just weird but tbh, it's the full truth. I want to be a doctor. I want to go places & help to really know deep down that I'm making a difference.
I just don't know how I'm going to get there; so many smarter people & I feel so useless right now. It seems so far away.
a few years from now, I want to look back on this post & go "i thought of it first"
you know what I mean ?
so today, did the 1.6km & handed in srp. such a busy first day back.
cleaned out my room but did no study whatsoever. I need more determination, or what's the word ? I don't know but so far I'm totally prepared to give up my social life LOL, ok no, love everyone too much to do that. other people are more important than want I want. I just have to remind myself of that sometimes; it's so hard. :S
ok, next post of progress for next time. (:

x3