Today was a great day because guess what ? I didn't screw up maths ! LOL in my standards anyway, I'M GOING TO GET INTO R & possibly J if I'm lucky hehe (: It really made my day & it feels great that I tried hard for something & achieved it. I'm happy.
YESS WAIT FOR IT; I usually get in the 50s for maths & last time, I failed [45/72]
BUT GUESS WHAT ? WAIT FOR IT !

67.5/72!!; this is the first time I've ever felt proud of maths & I sound like a selfish jerk but this is one place I can scream it (:

What sucks is that now that it's over, I mean this day, I just feel like I have to keep working. & that's the wrong mindset I think, we have to enjoy life, glorify God. That's what I'm supposed to be living for but I keep getting caught with the stupid cycle of competing & comparing. Don't get me wrong, today taught me a lesson & I was happy all day. I think there are two sides to it basically.
After I did not so great in the half yearlies, I was overly-determined to do well in the yearlies & I'm thinking now that hard work is the key. Working hard, keeping focus, it's way more important than anything, even natural smartness [which I lack greatly LOL].
But even after I learned that you really have to work for whatever you want to do, literally, if you just keep trying & don't stop trying, you'll do well. That's what I told myself after half yearlies & I'm just so happy it paid off.

In some ways, I think this lesson's a good one as long as I don't put it before what is really important, what is really the truth. God. I lost focus of God. Literally. The night before maths yearlies, it hit me & I couldn't believe I was that lost. I stopped studying & started praying for an hour. It felt like such a long time but I prayed for everything I forgot to do when I cared so much for maths, I prayed thanking him that he never turned his back on me & thanked him that he would still be with me when I entered that test.

Seriously what are yearlies, what is HSC, what is life ? honestly, the core truth is that it's time. Time to do right. Our life comes down to a couple of decades, most of which we sleep & spend uselessly. I think if we put together the time we put in for God, at most, it'll come down to a year. You know how stupid that is ? I really want to bear fruit for God, to present to him my best & I think I was working so hard for selfish, useless reasons. Ultimately, I want to do the best I can for the right reasons. My end goal isn't to be rich & successful, it's to be living a life that might not be appealing to people but what do they know ? We need to get back on track, our generation has to be one that cares. The future has to fix the past. & HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT IF ALL RUSIANS ARE SO OBSESSED WITH BEATING ONE ANOTHER ?

So yeah, when I said good luck, I really meant it but now that yearlies are over, it's time to look back & see if we were doing it for the right reasons. Our parents ? Because we want to look good in front of everyone ? Whatever it was, it should change. Next time, we'll all be trying our best & doing well for the right reasons.

As a recount, I celebrated the end of all my stupid worrying by following my mum & sister to sarah's swimming lesson carlisle, sipping on mum's ice coffee, trying to find a magazine to read but not finding any, getting fish & chips takeaway from norwest (: Then watching thankgodyou'rehere; hilarious show .

Hope you're all having a good time & hope you sort of understood what I was saying & you didn't take it the wrong way !

Today was a great day because guess what ? I didn't screw up maths ! LOL in my standards anyway, I'M GOING TO GET INTO R & possibly J if I'm lucky hehe (: It really made my day & it feels great that I tried hard for something & achieved it. I'm happy.
YESS WAIT FOR IT; I usually get in the 50s for maths & last time, I failed [45/72]
BUT GUESS WHAT ? WAIT FOR IT !

67.5/72!!; this is the first time I've ever felt proud of maths & I sound like a selfish jerk but this is one place I can scream it (:

What sucks is that now that it's over, I mean this day, I just feel like I have to keep working. & that's the wrong mindset I think, we have to enjoy life, glorify God. That's what I'm supposed to be living for but I keep getting caught with the stupid cycle of competing & comparing. Don't get me wrong, today taught me a lesson & I was happy all day. I think there are two sides to it basically.
After I did not so great in the half yearlies, I was overly-determined to do well in the yearlies & I'm thinking now that hard work is the key. Working hard, keeping focus, it's way more important than anything, even natural smartness [which I lack greatly LOL].
But even after I learned that you really have to work for whatever you want to do, literally, if you just keep trying & don't stop trying, you'll do well. That's what I told myself after half yearlies & I'm just so happy it paid off.

In some ways, I think this lesson's a good one as long as I don't put it before what is really important, what is really the truth. God. I lost focus of God. Literally. The night before maths yearlies, it hit me & I couldn't believe I was that lost. I stopped studying & started praying for an hour. It felt like such a long time but I prayed for everything I forgot to do when I cared so much for maths, I prayed thanking him that he never turned his back on me & thanked him that he would still be with me when I entered that test.

Seriously what are yearlies, what is HSC, what is life ? honestly, the core truth is that it's time. Time to do right. Our life comes down to a couple of decades, most of which we sleep & spend uselessly. I think if we put together the time we put in for God, at most, it'll come down to a year. You know how stupid that is ? I really want to bear fruit for God, to present to him my best & I think I was working so hard for selfish, useless reasons. Ultimately, I want to do the best I can for the right reasons. My end goal isn't to be rich & successful, it's to be living a life that might not be appealing to people but what do they know ? We need to get back on track, our generation has to be one that cares. The future has to fix the past. & HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT IF ALL RUSIANS ARE SO OBSESSED WITH BEATING ONE ANOTHER ?

So yeah, when I said good luck, I really meant it but now that yearlies are over, it's time to look back & see if we were doing it for the right reasons. Our parents ? Because we want to look good in front of everyone ? Whatever it was, it should change. Next time, we'll all be trying our best & doing well for the right reasons.

As a recount, I celebrated the end of all my stupid worrying by following my mum & sister to sarah's swimming lesson carlisle, sipping on mum's ice coffee, trying to find a magazine to read but not finding any, getting fish & chips takeaway from norwest (: Then watching thankgodyou'rehere; hilarious show .

Hope you're all having a good time & hope you sort of understood what I was saying & you didn't take it the wrong way !