I'm so tired.

Today, Sarah and I read Oliver Twist with Sarah doing all the dialogue voices & me doing the monologue. Sounds stupid but funniest moments ever (: She had cackly, hoarse, girly and gay voices for most of them- she then ran out and resorted to putting Indian accents on them LOL.



Had a lovely day at top ryde with Esther & Tiffany, & our mums & Sarah & April- shopping with about $10 each & wanting food. Nice. Nice. Nice.

 really only a dream, right.

If you trapped yourself in a little black box, free of everything else, the noise, the people, the need to be seen, would you know yourself better? Don't you need people to see yourself clearly? Everything around you shapes you, right? So, if you trapped yourself in a little black box and let yourself wonder, let yourself think, would you know yourself better? Or, because you're experiencing nothing and not growing or learning, would there be no one to know? Would you just become empty? That's a feeling I'm having right now. It's like I'm blocking everything away, thinking that I might come to some conclusion but I'm not. I'm still smiling & talking as if nothing's changed but nothing really matters to me anymore. I think I'm building a box around myself for a reason I still don't get. Anyway, I'm by myself, I don't care anymore and even people don't mean that much to me, and I'm losing myself. Maybe it's because I can't feel anything. Stupid box.



I want to be special. Not idol special, just a special where I get this result & go "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" because there's nothing else to say.
I want to be so happy & rewarded. I want to have a future & a life. I want my family & family to be proud of me. I want so much & I have so little time.

Spirit & perfection.

Ate egg soup & wagyu at Parra today after gym- just warm & nice & celebratory.

Admittedly not much to talk about, yeah, I'll just make this private.



At about 8 we went to my grandparents' house to hang & then we ended up picking mandarins from their tree & my grandma is amazing at that stuff [all things garden] & she fully wrestled off this massive branch. My grandpa's best at golf & he can write Hebrew & studies theology in his spare time. They've also travelled the world. It's so sweet because my grandma's very lively & my grandpa always laughs adoringly at her. LOL, it's the same on my mum's side, even though they are more the more quiet & perfect-looking sort of couple. For one, my grandma takes english classes & knows all these random NONKOREAN PEOPLE. I see some of my mum & dad in them- some funniness or whatever but not much.They way my sister and I see it is that our grandparents are way more open-minded and more willing to try everything more than their descendants. We all love them all though. If I had half the life they did/have,, man.. hahah anyway, we brought home the branches of mandarins & Sarah & I decided to be somewhat strange & posed with them, taking photos & luvos. Funny moments. LUVO WITH MANDARINS. At the moment, pointlessly watching GossipGirl; it's dramatic & funny & yeah, everyone knows the deal with it but it's the perfect thing to watch oodles of after exams & not have to think about anything too deep. HAVING FUN.

PHOTOS SOON

Loving korean blue grapes. Having a fantastic day just chilling although today was way stressful- science prac back, French writing & speaking test, math results back [& yeah, I'm happy with my mark (:] & english test. NONE of which were formally planned or whatever. Well, French was planned but english was completely sprung on us & my stomach was doing flips just before and during maths, I was so nervous but I'm really happy with what I got. I'm not as proud as I was last year but that's because I didn't prepare or study as much; maybe because I felt I didn't deserve it. I was shocked. Time to just have fun with friends and family before HONG KONG & KOREA. LIFE IS GOOD & I'm not even smiling. I need to be more appreciative & yeah I do need to say what I have to feel or think before I do because I'm weird like that.

Hope everyone has a good, completely stress-free week !

My family & I are eating crab [used to be my sister's favourite & my dad's kind-of favourite; I'm just getting used to the taste] but blehh it's strong. Time to go waste time I guess.

Eye bags to the ground. Nothing big to talk about or to say, I just really need to read an interesting blog or something to get my mind off things.

I'm a believer of overdoing anything worth doing.

What makes me sad ? When I stalk Christian blogs, usually they are a sort of "my walk with God" concept, a sort of daily reminder of why we're alive and them showing their journey and struggles as a Christian, I find that they have stopped writing for at least a few months. This makes me sad. Either, there was a big, highly localized zombie apocalypse that cut out their power, preventing them from recording their experiences as a Christian [no matter how much they attempted to ninja roll and escape] because they were under the subjugation of zombie dictatorship or,, they've drifted. And as much as I hate to admit it, the latter is more likely. Either way, I've prayed for both possibilities. I really hope that when you drift [not that it's possible since God is too powerful for you to ignore]. Let me rephrase. When you turn away from God, try and come back to Him. Be humble, seek help, and you'll realise that God has been there the whole time. There are so many people who drift, including me, and I hope I can keep these few words in mind along with many others, even though are attention spans are about the same as goldfish.

Mate, I'm bored.

Yearlies are heading out nearly & letting all of us to get on with our non-existent social lives. hahah, nothing to report but PANCAKES ON THE ROCKS YESTERDAY. Long cravings fulfilled. Haha, just reading this, it's like I do nothing else but eat. Which is pretty accurate now I think about it. I hope I have something interesting to write about soon or this thing will die. Sorry, I usually just type the first thing that comes to my head & just after I study comm & roam the internet, I don't think very meaningful or witty epiphanies just come to me. But I'm aching all over & getting stupid asthma attacks or something again [even though I don't have asthma LOL]. Go away. Have fun.





Nothing to report, sir.

LOL today was maths half yearlies .. & history half yearlies which no one cares about anyway.

Maths was mehh, can't even think of a better word to describe it. Doesn't feel monumental [probably because it isn't & I'm just a loser making a big deal out of it].

But something I can say is that I feel freeeeeeee as a bird. Actually, scratch that. More like a bird still half trapped with a wing clipped to the fence seeing as we still have science tomorrow [WHICH FREAKING GOES THROUGH LUNCH].

Well, yeah. Just an update of what I've been up to. Procrastinating and eating ftw; I'm typing a lot like I did last year. Only year 10 & exam stress already- this can't be good on my nerves [I feel the white hair coming on already].

gee-bee



You know something's wrong when you don't feel special looking at this.



On another note, half yearlies soon & surprisingly doing nothing about it. Oh well, I've comforted myself with lots of pecan pie [which, now I realise, I have been wasting my time eating instead of studying which would take away my need to eat comfort food]. Time to go.



Sorry for my boring, short, vague posts. I promise I shall use the time I'm wasting on the computer for a good cause [like wasting it even more]. TODAY WAS BLEHH again, nothing to talk about except WILDCATS WINNING [I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GUYSSSSSSS] (:

I know this might sound stupid and desperate but can someone please start a blog I can read, updating regularly [as regularly as I stalk/check, which is like every 5 minutes] & make it very very entertaining.

I'M SO BORED & I SUCK AT CONCENTRATING & STUDYING.

But Sarah & I are planning to have a full The BigBang Theory marathon and a Star Wars [which she is obsessed with and I'm probably sure I'll hate] marathon- then we're going to eat everything in sight while watching Pirates of the Carribean 4 & Water For the Elephants. Maybe throw in a shopping spree, musical with friends and kbbq & we've got heaven. LOL, GET BACK TO WORK, YOU ! [who probs have half yearlies coming up yeaaah !]



http://500daysofsummer.wordpress.com/

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

I'm so tired, need to study & dying from trying to figure out science notes. Can't wait till half yearlies are over so I can actually do something worthwhile. STARTING SILVER DOFE FINALLY THOUGH.

:(

I can't believe it's been 16 years.

TODAY, Sarah and I tagged along with mum & dad on their wedding anniversary, city korean bbq [chyeaah, that's the way we roll; daejangeum] & then expensive fruit punches, vanilla shakes, citrus fruit tart and apple strudel at Darling Harbour. Absolutely loved dessert [& I always love meat]. Spent basically all day since dinner out in the city, eating, eating, drinking, walking, loving the water fountains, joking, being idiots. Just very happy, fufilling and classy moments. I have all this d&m stuff to say about how proud I am of my parents of living life so well & being so happy even in their crazy constant banters and arguments and how special and blessed they make their children feel. They are the best parents in the world. Yeah, sorry, yours don't win (:, don't even compare.

Also, this is a secret but, after school, mum told me an out-of-the-world incentive to get into med. I can't say it [it's not money, or a car, or an apartment LOL] but it's just something really amazing and special. It's just something I can't tell you but I was so shocked by it and really hope that it will happen- it doesn't exactly benefit me but it does benefit someone else and it's more than enough to make me try hard. Oh, and Sarah has to as well. It's just crazy but in a good way.

Good night, hopefully I'll say more tomorrow. Oh wait, GO MERG B for winning our first 2 3on3 bball games today. ahahaha, INSANE.

BUT YEAH

HAPPY 16TH ANNIVERSARY MUM & DAD

<3

That I want to be awesome tomorrow. I'm going to try harder. I'm going to give it my all and get what I want.

Vague to you but I know exactly what I'm talking about.

Dear me,

Never forget what's important.

Even when it feels like the world is crashing down on you and you can't breathe- remember that things happen, you change and God gave you lungs for a reason. Just survive, enjoy what you have when you have it. Life is what happens when you're looking the other way, waiting for something huge to happen. Make time mean something- it's the stuff your life is made of. Look up to those you admire but never lose sight of your own values. Develop your own personality. Grow. Laugh. Take nothing seriously but everything earnestly. Stand your ground when you need to and fall back when you need to. But what you must remember at all times is that life isn't a rollercoaster, life isn't a journey, life isn't a battle. It's none of those cliched things where you're on your own path- making you're own way. No, it's not a pathway, where you have to struggle to advance forward. It's a gift- a million different sparks and points of darkness to see those sparks- they burn out and fire again so don't close your eyes when they happen. Don't put yourself first. Never smirk, never be smug, never think you're of better worth than anyone. Help, guide and follow. Be different roles on the stage but, ultimately, you're your own heroine. Live to glorify God, act to honour the people around you and smile for yourself. Get your priorities straight- no one else can do it for you. When you concentrate on a thread, you can't see the tapestry. A stupid saying but it makes sense. The moment right now should only be seized because you can fit it in with the others to make something that makes sense. Try not to put yourself down, never put others down and realise the value in everything.

Never forget what is important.

Yours sincerely,

tired, hopeful-that-you'll-be-more-accomplished, me.

“ A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying. - Grey’s Anatomy

WEARING BLUE FOR CHURCH COMBINED WITH YOUNGER KIDS & probably sausage sizzle. Love the blue theme ever since 500 days of summer. This is a pointless post but I finally made it private [or at least changed the link so no one could find it !] YAY.

I'm so tired.

Today, Sarah and I read Oliver Twist with Sarah doing all the dialogue voices & me doing the monologue. Sounds stupid but funniest moments ever (: She had cackly, hoarse, girly and gay voices for most of them- she then ran out and resorted to putting Indian accents on them LOL.



Had a lovely day at top ryde with Esther & Tiffany, & our mums & Sarah & April- shopping with about $10 each & wanting food. Nice. Nice. Nice.

 really only a dream, right.

If you trapped yourself in a little black box, free of everything else, the noise, the people, the need to be seen, would you know yourself better? Don't you need people to see yourself clearly? Everything around you shapes you, right? So, if you trapped yourself in a little black box and let yourself wonder, let yourself think, would you know yourself better? Or, because you're experiencing nothing and not growing or learning, would there be no one to know? Would you just become empty? That's a feeling I'm having right now. It's like I'm blocking everything away, thinking that I might come to some conclusion but I'm not. I'm still smiling & talking as if nothing's changed but nothing really matters to me anymore. I think I'm building a box around myself for a reason I still don't get. Anyway, I'm by myself, I don't care anymore and even people don't mean that much to me, and I'm losing myself. Maybe it's because I can't feel anything. Stupid box.



I want to be special. Not idol special, just a special where I get this result & go "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" because there's nothing else to say.
I want to be so happy & rewarded. I want to have a future & a life. I want my family & family to be proud of me. I want so much & I have so little time.

Spirit & perfection.

Ate egg soup & wagyu at Parra today after gym- just warm & nice & celebratory.

Admittedly not much to talk about, yeah, I'll just make this private.



At about 8 we went to my grandparents' house to hang & then we ended up picking mandarins from their tree & my grandma is amazing at that stuff [all things garden] & she fully wrestled off this massive branch. My grandpa's best at golf & he can write Hebrew & studies theology in his spare time. They've also travelled the world. It's so sweet because my grandma's very lively & my grandpa always laughs adoringly at her. LOL, it's the same on my mum's side, even though they are more the more quiet & perfect-looking sort of couple. For one, my grandma takes english classes & knows all these random NONKOREAN PEOPLE. I see some of my mum & dad in them- some funniness or whatever but not much.They way my sister and I see it is that our grandparents are way more open-minded and more willing to try everything more than their descendants. We all love them all though. If I had half the life they did/have,, man.. hahah anyway, we brought home the branches of mandarins & Sarah & I decided to be somewhat strange & posed with them, taking photos & luvos. Funny moments. LUVO WITH MANDARINS. At the moment, pointlessly watching GossipGirl; it's dramatic & funny & yeah, everyone knows the deal with it but it's the perfect thing to watch oodles of after exams & not have to think about anything too deep. HAVING FUN.

PHOTOS SOON

Loving korean blue grapes. Having a fantastic day just chilling although today was way stressful- science prac back, French writing & speaking test, math results back [& yeah, I'm happy with my mark (:] & english test. NONE of which were formally planned or whatever. Well, French was planned but english was completely sprung on us & my stomach was doing flips just before and during maths, I was so nervous but I'm really happy with what I got. I'm not as proud as I was last year but that's because I didn't prepare or study as much; maybe because I felt I didn't deserve it. I was shocked. Time to just have fun with friends and family before HONG KONG & KOREA. LIFE IS GOOD & I'm not even smiling. I need to be more appreciative & yeah I do need to say what I have to feel or think before I do because I'm weird like that.

Hope everyone has a good, completely stress-free week !

My family & I are eating crab [used to be my sister's favourite & my dad's kind-of favourite; I'm just getting used to the taste] but blehh it's strong. Time to go waste time I guess.

Eye bags to the ground. Nothing big to talk about or to say, I just really need to read an interesting blog or something to get my mind off things.

I'm a believer of overdoing anything worth doing.

What makes me sad ? When I stalk Christian blogs, usually they are a sort of "my walk with God" concept, a sort of daily reminder of why we're alive and them showing their journey and struggles as a Christian, I find that they have stopped writing for at least a few months. This makes me sad. Either, there was a big, highly localized zombie apocalypse that cut out their power, preventing them from recording their experiences as a Christian [no matter how much they attempted to ninja roll and escape] because they were under the subjugation of zombie dictatorship or,, they've drifted. And as much as I hate to admit it, the latter is more likely. Either way, I've prayed for both possibilities. I really hope that when you drift [not that it's possible since God is too powerful for you to ignore]. Let me rephrase. When you turn away from God, try and come back to Him. Be humble, seek help, and you'll realise that God has been there the whole time. There are so many people who drift, including me, and I hope I can keep these few words in mind along with many others, even though are attention spans are about the same as goldfish.

Mate, I'm bored.

Yearlies are heading out nearly & letting all of us to get on with our non-existent social lives. hahah, nothing to report but PANCAKES ON THE ROCKS YESTERDAY. Long cravings fulfilled. Haha, just reading this, it's like I do nothing else but eat. Which is pretty accurate now I think about it. I hope I have something interesting to write about soon or this thing will die. Sorry, I usually just type the first thing that comes to my head & just after I study comm & roam the internet, I don't think very meaningful or witty epiphanies just come to me. But I'm aching all over & getting stupid asthma attacks or something again [even though I don't have asthma LOL]. Go away. Have fun.





Nothing to report, sir.

LOL today was maths half yearlies .. & history half yearlies which no one cares about anyway.

Maths was mehh, can't even think of a better word to describe it. Doesn't feel monumental [probably because it isn't & I'm just a loser making a big deal out of it].

But something I can say is that I feel freeeeeeee as a bird. Actually, scratch that. More like a bird still half trapped with a wing clipped to the fence seeing as we still have science tomorrow [WHICH FREAKING GOES THROUGH LUNCH].

Well, yeah. Just an update of what I've been up to. Procrastinating and eating ftw; I'm typing a lot like I did last year. Only year 10 & exam stress already- this can't be good on my nerves [I feel the white hair coming on already].

gee-bee



You know something's wrong when you don't feel special looking at this.



On another note, half yearlies soon & surprisingly doing nothing about it. Oh well, I've comforted myself with lots of pecan pie [which, now I realise, I have been wasting my time eating instead of studying which would take away my need to eat comfort food]. Time to go.



Sorry for my boring, short, vague posts. I promise I shall use the time I'm wasting on the computer for a good cause [like wasting it even more]. TODAY WAS BLEHH again, nothing to talk about except WILDCATS WINNING [I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GUYSSSSSSS] (:

I know this might sound stupid and desperate but can someone please start a blog I can read, updating regularly [as regularly as I stalk/check, which is like every 5 minutes] & make it very very entertaining.

I'M SO BORED & I SUCK AT CONCENTRATING & STUDYING.

But Sarah & I are planning to have a full The BigBang Theory marathon and a Star Wars [which she is obsessed with and I'm probably sure I'll hate] marathon- then we're going to eat everything in sight while watching Pirates of the Carribean 4 & Water For the Elephants. Maybe throw in a shopping spree, musical with friends and kbbq & we've got heaven. LOL, GET BACK TO WORK, YOU ! [who probs have half yearlies coming up yeaaah !]



http://500daysofsummer.wordpress.com/

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

I'm so tired, need to study & dying from trying to figure out science notes. Can't wait till half yearlies are over so I can actually do something worthwhile. STARTING SILVER DOFE FINALLY THOUGH.

:(

I can't believe it's been 16 years.

TODAY, Sarah and I tagged along with mum & dad on their wedding anniversary, city korean bbq [chyeaah, that's the way we roll; daejangeum] & then expensive fruit punches, vanilla shakes, citrus fruit tart and apple strudel at Darling Harbour. Absolutely loved dessert [& I always love meat]. Spent basically all day since dinner out in the city, eating, eating, drinking, walking, loving the water fountains, joking, being idiots. Just very happy, fufilling and classy moments. I have all this d&m stuff to say about how proud I am of my parents of living life so well & being so happy even in their crazy constant banters and arguments and how special and blessed they make their children feel. They are the best parents in the world. Yeah, sorry, yours don't win (:, don't even compare.

Also, this is a secret but, after school, mum told me an out-of-the-world incentive to get into med. I can't say it [it's not money, or a car, or an apartment LOL] but it's just something really amazing and special. It's just something I can't tell you but I was so shocked by it and really hope that it will happen- it doesn't exactly benefit me but it does benefit someone else and it's more than enough to make me try hard. Oh, and Sarah has to as well. It's just crazy but in a good way.

Good night, hopefully I'll say more tomorrow. Oh wait, GO MERG B for winning our first 2 3on3 bball games today. ahahaha, INSANE.

BUT YEAH

HAPPY 16TH ANNIVERSARY MUM & DAD

<3

That I want to be awesome tomorrow. I'm going to try harder. I'm going to give it my all and get what I want.

Vague to you but I know exactly what I'm talking about.

Dear me,

Never forget what's important.

Even when it feels like the world is crashing down on you and you can't breathe- remember that things happen, you change and God gave you lungs for a reason. Just survive, enjoy what you have when you have it. Life is what happens when you're looking the other way, waiting for something huge to happen. Make time mean something- it's the stuff your life is made of. Look up to those you admire but never lose sight of your own values. Develop your own personality. Grow. Laugh. Take nothing seriously but everything earnestly. Stand your ground when you need to and fall back when you need to. But what you must remember at all times is that life isn't a rollercoaster, life isn't a journey, life isn't a battle. It's none of those cliched things where you're on your own path- making you're own way. No, it's not a pathway, where you have to struggle to advance forward. It's a gift- a million different sparks and points of darkness to see those sparks- they burn out and fire again so don't close your eyes when they happen. Don't put yourself first. Never smirk, never be smug, never think you're of better worth than anyone. Help, guide and follow. Be different roles on the stage but, ultimately, you're your own heroine. Live to glorify God, act to honour the people around you and smile for yourself. Get your priorities straight- no one else can do it for you. When you concentrate on a thread, you can't see the tapestry. A stupid saying but it makes sense. The moment right now should only be seized because you can fit it in with the others to make something that makes sense. Try not to put yourself down, never put others down and realise the value in everything.

Never forget what is important.

Yours sincerely,

tired, hopeful-that-you'll-be-more-accomplished, me.

“ A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying. - Grey’s Anatomy

WEARING BLUE FOR CHURCH COMBINED WITH YOUNGER KIDS & probably sausage sizzle. Love the blue theme ever since 500 days of summer. This is a pointless post but I finally made it private [or at least changed the link so no one could find it !] YAY.