Seriously people, this is my way of encrypting :L



Lately, not much has been up but.. I don't know, a few realizations that are very simple but I never considered it in all the rush. Feeling pretty out of everything lately, don't have the effort or the mood to get involved but that's not to say that I haven't been happy- it's just an extreme case of ceebs, that's all. Time for a bimbo post.

So, it's the last week of term 2 and that scares me- everything passes too quickly nowadays. Where did all the time go? Either way, this year has panned out nicely despite all the late-night cramming & little dramas people seem to get caught up in. I'm not excited enough for church camp but maybe that's just because we're now the oldest grade there [since most year 12s will be hibernating due to HSC] & all the younger grades are awesome but it'll be a bit less fun than other years I think. Today, I have a matrix chemistry test that I'm completely underprepared for but, at this point, I don't want to do anything. I suppose that's it. Also, I've been meaning to volunteer somewhere but I'm scared they won't let me, like just take one look at me & go "well, she's a noob. Not letting her work even if it's for free". I'm not even kidding, this is coming from someone who was technically fired from St Vinnies. Yes, it's possible.

Not much else to go on about. Today's post done.

So it's taken me 2 hours to write the intro for my essay. This is just ridiculous.



So today..


Period 1 was completely uneventful. Everyone was falling asleep in physics because Bialy wouldn't stop talking about circuits & fuses & whatnot. So.. we were about to die.

Periods 2-3 which should have been bio but PREFECT RESULTS. Jess & I were just being stoned & talking about how our substitute teacher's evilness was being revealed & how it was increasing exponentially [you know how new teachers always seem so sweet & nice before their true character is exposed] when we heard a knock on the door. Far out, current prefects are such trolls. A few basically came into our class & told us a couple of us were in trouble & we had to go see the principal which we knew was a lie & it was pretty unoriginal. UNTIL they started announcing our names in a capella- like it was a quartet singing out each name. So funny. It was really saddening to see so many people who deserved it & would've made amazing prefects miss out but, at the same time, we were too relieved to linger on that. They rounded us up to the quad & then to Barrengarry house where a few people were already there & I just want to take up this space to say how everyone in that room deserved it fifty times over. They were just the people I was expecting to see & hoping to see [although there were a few that I was looking for but they never came :(]. It was pride for myself but mostly for everyone else.


They gave us letters to take home to our parents & a sheet where we had to list all our achievements over school life. We then spent the whole period voting for school captain, vice captain, senior prefect & sports captains. Each one was completely expected but they all deserved it so much & so incredibly proud of them :') I was thinking of doing a dedication for each of them but it honestly takes too much effort & also, Kerry stalks this so he might get a bloated ego & who knows what will happen then :P But really, so excited to be a prefect along such brilliant people & under such awesome leaders so 2012/2013 will be amazing to say the least. So congratulations everyone, especially to our new school captain, Miss Jessica Zeng. (:

We were then quickly introduced to the rest of the school just before recess which was exciting, simple & cold. It was touching when juniors randomly came up & hugged/congratulated us afterwards because it made us feel loved. All except my sister who looked at me awkwardly before trying to walk away so I had to strangle her into a hug. It was quite nice. Catherine, Maddie & I spent all recess trying to sell overpriced Aboriginal bracelets which Baulko made. It was difficult business.

English was the funniest. Love Steele so much. She just skipped over the end of Lear, going "oh my gosh, enough of this. They all die. The end", seeing as it took too long to read it. The lesson before, she had accidentally said Gonorrhea instead of Gonerill which was bound to happen but it was epic when it did. Today was a lot more calm. She just told us how much we sucked at essays. The end.

Maths was maths. Nothing much ever happens in maths but fear, silence & complete agreement with that silence. People in the class understand what this means.

Free period meant frantically copying phys homework. Michael kept insisting I owe him hash browns which I suppose is justified due to a bet although Suren saying that she should get some too is simply ridiculous. It was really crowded with mod & ancient people bludging. People who had frees were studying harder.

Maths again. LOL.

After school, I bought my sister an egg. No joke, a regal purple case in the shape of an egg. It was meant as a thank you present for putting up with my mood during the week but after I bought it, I was just thinking "what. the hell. I bought her an egg?". In my defence, it looks like this.



Well, isn't it pretty at least?

I showed Margaret & she was like "I'm sure she appreciates eggs" very doubtfully. Lulu also had a rather condescending look in regard to my egg. Maybe I'm just terrible at choosing gifts. Managed to survive Matrix with them two & Ngo. Esther's dad picked us up. Parents were at guyokyebe so Sarah was the only one at home so I delivered my present. My sister was like "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SPEND $45 ON AN EGG WHEN WE COULD'VE SPENT IT ON BETTER THINGS LIKE FOOD?". But she thanked me anyway even though she thinks I'm a noob big sister & we spent quite a bit of time laughing over nothing. Again, no time for deep ponderings which I was going to post but today was more eventful than others so I'll leave it here.

I hope this extra long post makes up for my neglect & strangeness over the week. Have a great weekend children.






I haven't been giving very proper posts but all I have to say is that Mum hasn't been making dinner for a few days I think which means a lot of eating out [especially because Dad goes on a whim & suddenly goes "let's go there!"]. So much money spent on eating but not a waste of time at all. Love my family. We went to this Korean place 'Maroo' in Top Ryde & I think Sarah & I are too used to dodgy Korean places in Eastwood but they had a hotel-like bathroom so we spent a fair bit of time in there, marvelling at prettiness of that bathroom. Like no joke, we wouldn't have been impressed otherwise but it was just so out of place in a Korean restaurant. I also know I'm spending half this paragraph talking about a bathroom but still. I think there was a point where Sarah was like "OH MY GOSH, there are flowers printed on the toilet paper. I can't bring myself to use it" & then we popped our heads out of the door to throw troll expressions to our parents. Yeah, we had a blast. I think that was on Sunday.

Yesterday was good with Naidoc assembly & mostly very happy with everything.

Today, I consciously told myself that I would be happier today and it worked. All it takes is a bit of faking it for a little bit until you actually smile for real & a little encouragement from some genuinely amazing people. Feeling awesome today & there'll be a lot of relief after tomorrow as well. Everything's pretty good right now.

Also, Seal from The Voice is really seedy.

I hate being so selfish.

(:

I get what I give and lately I haven't been giving very much. Whenever I read my old blog posts, I can't help but think that if I'd done some things differently then I wouldn't be where I am now & struggling with the things I'm dealing with. By the way, these aren't big things at all- seriously, first world problems- but it always feels like I'm never giving enough & getting stressed a lot for no reason. Having said that, today was quite an alright day. It was a lot better than I had been dreading. Time to meaninglessly recount.

 Double chem & recess- we had an awesome sub who let us cheat on our chem test. That would've been miraculous if he hadn't been a PE teacher & thus, unable to help us with anything, & everyone didn't know what they were doing anyway so no one to copy off. Either way, it was a lot less stressful than if Fernandez had been there & watching over us like a hawk. I had trouble printing off my bio because the file wouldn't open so I sort of just left in the middle of chem to call my mum & ask her to send it again but nothing worked. Eventually, I tweaked it a bit [with my limited technology skills] & got it to work but I got a bit scared there. Even though I shouldn't have. It's just a stupid bio report. I hate letting anything like that get to me but today it did. It was alright though since everyone else was also frantically printing off today also.

Maths: -tumbleweed-
Oh & apparently whenever Woodhouse comes back from teaching our class, he says "I just came back from the monastery", teehee, we're a monastery :D

Prefect nominations: a lot of explaining how to vote properly which, usually, I would've found really unnecessary but it was interesting. This is going to sound really stupid & won't make any sense but I felt like I'd failed an exam after all the ballot papers were collected. I was jittery & bleugh. I'd even run out of time :L Wow. I lead a pathetic existence. So, yes, our grade takes it way too seriously. I think we just take anything we can't let anyone else see seriously.

LUNCH: probably the highlight of my day. About 20ish of us camped out at A block & got the massive cake from Sara Lee [with the dent]. Ding & Rae put out the candles in the ugliest arrangement I'd ever seen & Rae failed at lighting the matches so Ted had to do it. We spent quite a bit there, just awkwardly waiting for Suren to come with Michael & the candles were dying & there were wax pools all over the cake because we're fail. BUT EVENTUALLY they came. Mark presented the collective present- a jersey [I honestly don't understand why guys like jerseys as presents though] & Michael was a happy child. It was just all really a happy time. Mostly because of the cake & Sumedh. That Sumedh. We also took a picture of the crumbs that remained of the cake to show to Lulu who is at zone. We're so nice to him (:

So, this week. SJC & Gogreen all due, plus have to start worrying about english. Wow, it all starts again. But it's okay because today was good.

Written Yesterday. Kind of written backwards.

The Obligatory Annual Rant on Prefect Voting

After dinner, when I got on Facebook, two people immediately started chatting to me and I thought this. was. it. That monumental day when I suddenly had friends and people were willingly talking to me. But no, that was not the case at all. Apparently prefect voting is soon so they were asking to trade votes. I found that pretty awkward because I would have voted for those people anyway & really hated the idea of trading votes. At first, I was getting annoyed as more of them just started popping up on chat & even when friends who wanted to talk about something else popped up, I immediately thought "ohhh, not you too" [ahah sorry Rae, you just wanted to talk about cake].

But then I realised it's not actually a fault on their part because it simply means that they thought I wouldn't vote for them otherwise. I'm not just saying it when I say all these people are lovely, awesome & definitely people I'd vote for anyway & I think it wasn't right for me to be annoyed when they're not trying to use me but just insecure & wanting to make sure they do everything they can for something they want. I think I'm one of those people so it would be hugely hypocritical of me to judge them for it. However, trading votes is still wrong & if you get voted, it shouldn't be because you're voting for them also. If you're buying votes with votes, that's pretty much a sure sign that you aren't good prefect material. It's a pretty simple concept, right? So yes, if I want to vote for you I will. If you want to ask, I'll definitely consider it because I'm going to be asking too. If you ask to trade votes, it'll depend completely on whether I was going to vote for you anyway. I guess it's really about how and why you're asking.

--

So Mum wasn't feeling well again today & Dad went on this gigantic man's night out, long weekend camping trip with all these other dads from church so Sarah & I ordered pizza & pasta of which Mum didn't eat. I cut up a piece of the pizza without cheese so she could have a bit that wouldn't make her more sick but yeah, pretty bleak day today. Sarah brightened it up a bit like always but mostly because she's a retard. After church, we dropped Mum off at home. Sarah & I tagged along with Dad as he bought supplies for his man's night out so we just ate at food court & finished it off with passion fruit cheesecake & hot chocolate from Gloria Jeans. Also, held a secret meeting for Dad's birthday present. He then dragged us off the Bunnings to buy petrol and he literally bought like 5 large metal boxes of it & neither of us could understand why. Sarah kept accusing him of going to Melbourne because she likes accusing people of going to Melbourne in particular for some reason. & Dad was like "why not Adelaide?". Sarah thought about it for a second & just went "Nah, nah, Melbourne's where it's at. Definitely Melbourne". Yeah, so she's convinced he's leaving us for there.

Other than that, it was nice to go to church after missing it for 2 weeks- everyone's quite the same and they had an election up at the main adult service to choose the elders so HSB had to sit around, eating bread & drinking juice, while the teachers went to vote. It ended up with a lot of bread throwing because we didn't want to eat it. Oh, also, while this is completely irrelevant to my life, this year 7 girl [a certain sister of Esther's] got a boyfriend who also goes to the church so as soon as I saw her, I sat her down & was immediately like "so... let's talk about your relationship status ;)" & I made her run away.

---

Something that challenged me during that time of throwing bread & drinking juice.

Some days are better than others
The struggle within is a constant struggle, it goes back and forth,
Some days are better than others
Laughing, crying, living, dying,
it's a circle- a very exhausting circle.
Continuing in faith but almost losing hope,
Some days are better than others
The enemy pulls one way- he is so strong
My Saviour has his arms around me, holding me tight
The enemy shouts "why didn't you save her?"
And my Saviour whispers, "I did"
Some days are better than others

So, apparently, someone requires a dedication.

Hi, you're cool. Cool like a cucumber, possibly like this dancing cucumber even though that's on a pretty high level of cool.



CLICK TO SEE OBJECT OF YOUR COMPARISON.

Yes, that's right, Kerry. I polluted my space for my deep life ponderings & random recounts for such a dedication. *edit: made it a link, the dancing cucumber was too annoying.

It is written among the limitless constellations of the celestial heavens, and in the depths of the emerald seas, and upon every grain of sand in the vast deserts that the world which we see is an outward and visible dream of an inward and invisible reality. Once upon a time, there was a golden city. In the center of this golden city, atop the tallest minaret were three gold balls. The ancients had prophesied that if the three golden balls were ever taken away, harmony would yield to discord, and the city would fall to destruction... and death! But the mystics had also foretold that the city might be saved by the simplest soul with the smallest and simplest of things. In the city, there dwelt a lowly shoemaker who was known as Tack the cobbler. Also in the city, existed a thief... who shall be nameless.

 My sister loves that movie. Just like she loves all slightly nightmarish, artistic movies like 'Howl's Moving Castle', 'Spirited Away' & 'The Corpse Bride'.

 ---

 Social Justice at lunch was kind of half productive but the free period Catherine, Rachelwangster, Shimmy & Miss Murphy spent was hilarious. Miss Murphy is just so crazily awesome. I love all the English teachers in general actually & it made me think what a chillax enjoyable life you could have as a teacher if you could get over the bad pay. Anyways, we talked about the assembly for a little bit before Murphy went into a complete rant about how much she got annoyed at juniors & how her dad was still paying for her car insurance or something. Funniest ever. She also realised that she had a class to teach but she was like "meh, I might have year 8 or something. Screw them" so she just sat around & told us funny stories.

Went back to Friday Matrix Phys class today which was fantastic except now I realise I fail at physics so will have to revise heaps because I literally don't do anything until just before. It feels like all the time just flies by & I'm barely surviving. I know I complain about this a lot & I'm always whining but, truly, I know that it's my fault so I have to try harder & keep on top of it all. OH MY GOSH, small world. MichelleB & I were talking about somethingsomethingsomething & then we realised we both went to the same violin teacher. I remember my teacher saying that one of her students were going to come to Ruse as a newbie but I completely forgot about it & I NEVER KNEW IT WAS MICHELLE. Wowowowow. A bunch of us were doing nothing at Gloria Jeans, Esther joined [awkwardly because we're all ruse kids + chime baulko] but it was pretty alright because we're all a bit strange. The rest of them left so Esther & I went library to.. mostly gossip rather than study but we just talked about everyone else's lives. We then ate a hideous amount at Saigon [high class with beef noodle soup & tomato rice+crispy chicken ;)]but we split it so we got a bit of both & it was so yummy. I'M SO GLAD TO BE BACK ON FRIDAY MATRIX. I MISS MARGARET, LULU, NGO & random annoying people in the class like Lawrence [B] because he's an ass compared to the new Lawrence so even though he's been here all year & new Lawrence just joined, he automatically got demoted to Lawrence [B] haha. I admit, I love Jess Le, Gay & Cosmo as well but the class was just supersupersuper boring & Friday classes are just so much open & better. I also feel like I'm understanding things which is a good sign. So good to be back & I got so many "Grace is bak" jokes which was pretty cringe-worthy. Also, there's like some war going on between two sides of the class so Lulu had oreos & Ngo had Butternut cookies & they were trying to entice people to their side. It was pretty weird. But Margaret was lovely as always (: Mum picked me up & we had several spastic conversations in the car where we talked about what Miss Murphy said & year 8s; my mum was laughing so hard, I thought she wouldn't drive properly. Okay, recount for today done. I'm going to attempt bio.

Auburn buffet with Suren, Michael, Angela, Mark & Ted at lunch which was.. well, it's a buffet, need I say more ? We actually ate a shameful amount but I was the only one who had to fit into a musical dress afterwards. We met Sarah, Rodger, Shang, Rae, Albert & Jimmy at Parra afterwards but didn't really do anything so just sat around & talked. It was sort of boring to be honest but Sarah, Angela, Rodger & I had to leave really early to get to musical. We were so fail, went in all the wrong directions before getting to the bus stop.

I really can't talk about the whole musical without breaking my computer but the last night was by far the best. Having most of the grade their tonight & everyone being so nostalgic, proud of each other & just so much love everywhere was really amazing. Brittany & Michelle started crying pretty much straight after the curtain call & the whole cast was just belting out "Hello Dolly" backstage afterwards. Lots of photos, hugs & meeting people I haven't seen in a long time afterwards. So much love for everyone in the grade & at Ruse. After party was crazy & people were going spastic with One Direction songs & food. It was really nice to see everyone so happy. I sort of curled up in a little black box because I wasn't in the mood & Nachan, Shang & Kerry joined a bit after because being antisocial is how we roll. It was fantastic & I'm so thankful I did musical even though I had some regrets along the way like the way it took up time & such but it was a life experience. I really can't go over it all so I'm just going to copy & paste messages from facebook so you get an idea.

And there will be more but it was just such a great experience & you just can't compare it to a good school mark or having lots of time on your hands. Everything was just so so worth it.

Day- only thing was atar estimates today which I was relieved about but not exactly crazy happy. I admit I was proud to get one of those certificates but it was really only because I was shaking before & I don't know why. I feel like such a hypocrite because I tell myself to care less but, instinctively, I just stress a lot. A lot of people were pretty upset with theirs & I felt sad for them but definitely not sorry for them because there's no reason to be. First ones in year 11 mean legit nothing -repetition of my last post about exams-

During the free, Rachel, Liz, Dobsies & Michael camped outside Connors office for them which was truly pathetic I guess but it's a normal part of school- to be shamelessly nerdy.

Oh & in maths, we wrote a pros & cons list for Renee & Catherine to choose who the best maths buddy is [both have many many many cons, Catherine moreso].

I was also disappointed because Suren & Yive didn't get to perform their duet at the year meeting & the jerseys are disgusting, like supersuper gross. I would pay double just to get varsity jackets.

Tonight was really a repetition of last night only with less screwing up which was great. Kelly's place again with Melissa, Robyn, Shimmy & Rachel, played Wii party & ate delicious pasta. We then pretty much wobbled over to school due to being so full, changed & got our hair & make-up. As much as I'm scared of make-up, it's always fun getting ready & not looking like you normally do. As always, we spent most of the time backstage, hoping we don't forget or do something wrong. Friday is the only day I really care about because my parents & grandparents were part of the audience but luckily I didn't make any ginormous mistakes as a blending-in chorus member :D Now my face feels swollen & yuck even after I removed make-up & my feet hurt but it's all worth it. Most of the audience were super serious & the principals were worried because no one was laughing at the jokes but it's only because half the rows are taken up by Treskin's 'people' so probably officials & principals from other schools. Simple sentence recounts. Car ride home from musical was so funny because we were carpooling with Sean & Dad was complaining about the whole musical going "they should fire the sound & lighting people.. can you even call that a principal?.." half-jokingly & it was just very embarrassing so Mum had to hit him & shut him up.

Going buffet tomorrow & eating until I can't fit into my musical dress as a resident third wheel with Suren & Michael. Life is beautiful or sort of. I was really sad a few days ago for no apparent reason but just a few events happen & it makes everything worth it again.

Almost midnight so very sorry for this crazily disjointed post but I just kind of did it in this semi-chronological, train of thought, thing so going to go shower & try to wash a hairspray mountain off my hair.

Good night (:

Seriously people, this is my way of encrypting :L



Lately, not much has been up but.. I don't know, a few realizations that are very simple but I never considered it in all the rush. Feeling pretty out of everything lately, don't have the effort or the mood to get involved but that's not to say that I haven't been happy- it's just an extreme case of ceebs, that's all. Time for a bimbo post.

So, it's the last week of term 2 and that scares me- everything passes too quickly nowadays. Where did all the time go? Either way, this year has panned out nicely despite all the late-night cramming & little dramas people seem to get caught up in. I'm not excited enough for church camp but maybe that's just because we're now the oldest grade there [since most year 12s will be hibernating due to HSC] & all the younger grades are awesome but it'll be a bit less fun than other years I think. Today, I have a matrix chemistry test that I'm completely underprepared for but, at this point, I don't want to do anything. I suppose that's it. Also, I've been meaning to volunteer somewhere but I'm scared they won't let me, like just take one look at me & go "well, she's a noob. Not letting her work even if it's for free". I'm not even kidding, this is coming from someone who was technically fired from St Vinnies. Yes, it's possible.

Not much else to go on about. Today's post done.

So it's taken me 2 hours to write the intro for my essay. This is just ridiculous.



So today..


Period 1 was completely uneventful. Everyone was falling asleep in physics because Bialy wouldn't stop talking about circuits & fuses & whatnot. So.. we were about to die.

Periods 2-3 which should have been bio but PREFECT RESULTS. Jess & I were just being stoned & talking about how our substitute teacher's evilness was being revealed & how it was increasing exponentially [you know how new teachers always seem so sweet & nice before their true character is exposed] when we heard a knock on the door. Far out, current prefects are such trolls. A few basically came into our class & told us a couple of us were in trouble & we had to go see the principal which we knew was a lie & it was pretty unoriginal. UNTIL they started announcing our names in a capella- like it was a quartet singing out each name. So funny. It was really saddening to see so many people who deserved it & would've made amazing prefects miss out but, at the same time, we were too relieved to linger on that. They rounded us up to the quad & then to Barrengarry house where a few people were already there & I just want to take up this space to say how everyone in that room deserved it fifty times over. They were just the people I was expecting to see & hoping to see [although there were a few that I was looking for but they never came :(]. It was pride for myself but mostly for everyone else.


They gave us letters to take home to our parents & a sheet where we had to list all our achievements over school life. We then spent the whole period voting for school captain, vice captain, senior prefect & sports captains. Each one was completely expected but they all deserved it so much & so incredibly proud of them :') I was thinking of doing a dedication for each of them but it honestly takes too much effort & also, Kerry stalks this so he might get a bloated ego & who knows what will happen then :P But really, so excited to be a prefect along such brilliant people & under such awesome leaders so 2012/2013 will be amazing to say the least. So congratulations everyone, especially to our new school captain, Miss Jessica Zeng. (:

We were then quickly introduced to the rest of the school just before recess which was exciting, simple & cold. It was touching when juniors randomly came up & hugged/congratulated us afterwards because it made us feel loved. All except my sister who looked at me awkwardly before trying to walk away so I had to strangle her into a hug. It was quite nice. Catherine, Maddie & I spent all recess trying to sell overpriced Aboriginal bracelets which Baulko made. It was difficult business.

English was the funniest. Love Steele so much. She just skipped over the end of Lear, going "oh my gosh, enough of this. They all die. The end", seeing as it took too long to read it. The lesson before, she had accidentally said Gonorrhea instead of Gonerill which was bound to happen but it was epic when it did. Today was a lot more calm. She just told us how much we sucked at essays. The end.

Maths was maths. Nothing much ever happens in maths but fear, silence & complete agreement with that silence. People in the class understand what this means.

Free period meant frantically copying phys homework. Michael kept insisting I owe him hash browns which I suppose is justified due to a bet although Suren saying that she should get some too is simply ridiculous. It was really crowded with mod & ancient people bludging. People who had frees were studying harder.

Maths again. LOL.

After school, I bought my sister an egg. No joke, a regal purple case in the shape of an egg. It was meant as a thank you present for putting up with my mood during the week but after I bought it, I was just thinking "what. the hell. I bought her an egg?". In my defence, it looks like this.



Well, isn't it pretty at least?

I showed Margaret & she was like "I'm sure she appreciates eggs" very doubtfully. Lulu also had a rather condescending look in regard to my egg. Maybe I'm just terrible at choosing gifts. Managed to survive Matrix with them two & Ngo. Esther's dad picked us up. Parents were at guyokyebe so Sarah was the only one at home so I delivered my present. My sister was like "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SPEND $45 ON AN EGG WHEN WE COULD'VE SPENT IT ON BETTER THINGS LIKE FOOD?". But she thanked me anyway even though she thinks I'm a noob big sister & we spent quite a bit of time laughing over nothing. Again, no time for deep ponderings which I was going to post but today was more eventful than others so I'll leave it here.

I hope this extra long post makes up for my neglect & strangeness over the week. Have a great weekend children.






I haven't been giving very proper posts but all I have to say is that Mum hasn't been making dinner for a few days I think which means a lot of eating out [especially because Dad goes on a whim & suddenly goes "let's go there!"]. So much money spent on eating but not a waste of time at all. Love my family. We went to this Korean place 'Maroo' in Top Ryde & I think Sarah & I are too used to dodgy Korean places in Eastwood but they had a hotel-like bathroom so we spent a fair bit of time in there, marvelling at prettiness of that bathroom. Like no joke, we wouldn't have been impressed otherwise but it was just so out of place in a Korean restaurant. I also know I'm spending half this paragraph talking about a bathroom but still. I think there was a point where Sarah was like "OH MY GOSH, there are flowers printed on the toilet paper. I can't bring myself to use it" & then we popped our heads out of the door to throw troll expressions to our parents. Yeah, we had a blast. I think that was on Sunday.

Yesterday was good with Naidoc assembly & mostly very happy with everything.

Today, I consciously told myself that I would be happier today and it worked. All it takes is a bit of faking it for a little bit until you actually smile for real & a little encouragement from some genuinely amazing people. Feeling awesome today & there'll be a lot of relief after tomorrow as well. Everything's pretty good right now.

Also, Seal from The Voice is really seedy.

I hate being so selfish.

(:

I get what I give and lately I haven't been giving very much. Whenever I read my old blog posts, I can't help but think that if I'd done some things differently then I wouldn't be where I am now & struggling with the things I'm dealing with. By the way, these aren't big things at all- seriously, first world problems- but it always feels like I'm never giving enough & getting stressed a lot for no reason. Having said that, today was quite an alright day. It was a lot better than I had been dreading. Time to meaninglessly recount.

 Double chem & recess- we had an awesome sub who let us cheat on our chem test. That would've been miraculous if he hadn't been a PE teacher & thus, unable to help us with anything, & everyone didn't know what they were doing anyway so no one to copy off. Either way, it was a lot less stressful than if Fernandez had been there & watching over us like a hawk. I had trouble printing off my bio because the file wouldn't open so I sort of just left in the middle of chem to call my mum & ask her to send it again but nothing worked. Eventually, I tweaked it a bit [with my limited technology skills] & got it to work but I got a bit scared there. Even though I shouldn't have. It's just a stupid bio report. I hate letting anything like that get to me but today it did. It was alright though since everyone else was also frantically printing off today also.

Maths: -tumbleweed-
Oh & apparently whenever Woodhouse comes back from teaching our class, he says "I just came back from the monastery", teehee, we're a monastery :D

Prefect nominations: a lot of explaining how to vote properly which, usually, I would've found really unnecessary but it was interesting. This is going to sound really stupid & won't make any sense but I felt like I'd failed an exam after all the ballot papers were collected. I was jittery & bleugh. I'd even run out of time :L Wow. I lead a pathetic existence. So, yes, our grade takes it way too seriously. I think we just take anything we can't let anyone else see seriously.

LUNCH: probably the highlight of my day. About 20ish of us camped out at A block & got the massive cake from Sara Lee [with the dent]. Ding & Rae put out the candles in the ugliest arrangement I'd ever seen & Rae failed at lighting the matches so Ted had to do it. We spent quite a bit there, just awkwardly waiting for Suren to come with Michael & the candles were dying & there were wax pools all over the cake because we're fail. BUT EVENTUALLY they came. Mark presented the collective present- a jersey [I honestly don't understand why guys like jerseys as presents though] & Michael was a happy child. It was just all really a happy time. Mostly because of the cake & Sumedh. That Sumedh. We also took a picture of the crumbs that remained of the cake to show to Lulu who is at zone. We're so nice to him (:

So, this week. SJC & Gogreen all due, plus have to start worrying about english. Wow, it all starts again. But it's okay because today was good.

Written Yesterday. Kind of written backwards.

The Obligatory Annual Rant on Prefect Voting

After dinner, when I got on Facebook, two people immediately started chatting to me and I thought this. was. it. That monumental day when I suddenly had friends and people were willingly talking to me. But no, that was not the case at all. Apparently prefect voting is soon so they were asking to trade votes. I found that pretty awkward because I would have voted for those people anyway & really hated the idea of trading votes. At first, I was getting annoyed as more of them just started popping up on chat & even when friends who wanted to talk about something else popped up, I immediately thought "ohhh, not you too" [ahah sorry Rae, you just wanted to talk about cake].

But then I realised it's not actually a fault on their part because it simply means that they thought I wouldn't vote for them otherwise. I'm not just saying it when I say all these people are lovely, awesome & definitely people I'd vote for anyway & I think it wasn't right for me to be annoyed when they're not trying to use me but just insecure & wanting to make sure they do everything they can for something they want. I think I'm one of those people so it would be hugely hypocritical of me to judge them for it. However, trading votes is still wrong & if you get voted, it shouldn't be because you're voting for them also. If you're buying votes with votes, that's pretty much a sure sign that you aren't good prefect material. It's a pretty simple concept, right? So yes, if I want to vote for you I will. If you want to ask, I'll definitely consider it because I'm going to be asking too. If you ask to trade votes, it'll depend completely on whether I was going to vote for you anyway. I guess it's really about how and why you're asking.

--

So Mum wasn't feeling well again today & Dad went on this gigantic man's night out, long weekend camping trip with all these other dads from church so Sarah & I ordered pizza & pasta of which Mum didn't eat. I cut up a piece of the pizza without cheese so she could have a bit that wouldn't make her more sick but yeah, pretty bleak day today. Sarah brightened it up a bit like always but mostly because she's a retard. After church, we dropped Mum off at home. Sarah & I tagged along with Dad as he bought supplies for his man's night out so we just ate at food court & finished it off with passion fruit cheesecake & hot chocolate from Gloria Jeans. Also, held a secret meeting for Dad's birthday present. He then dragged us off the Bunnings to buy petrol and he literally bought like 5 large metal boxes of it & neither of us could understand why. Sarah kept accusing him of going to Melbourne because she likes accusing people of going to Melbourne in particular for some reason. & Dad was like "why not Adelaide?". Sarah thought about it for a second & just went "Nah, nah, Melbourne's where it's at. Definitely Melbourne". Yeah, so she's convinced he's leaving us for there.

Other than that, it was nice to go to church after missing it for 2 weeks- everyone's quite the same and they had an election up at the main adult service to choose the elders so HSB had to sit around, eating bread & drinking juice, while the teachers went to vote. It ended up with a lot of bread throwing because we didn't want to eat it. Oh, also, while this is completely irrelevant to my life, this year 7 girl [a certain sister of Esther's] got a boyfriend who also goes to the church so as soon as I saw her, I sat her down & was immediately like "so... let's talk about your relationship status ;)" & I made her run away.

---

Something that challenged me during that time of throwing bread & drinking juice.

Some days are better than others
The struggle within is a constant struggle, it goes back and forth,
Some days are better than others
Laughing, crying, living, dying,
it's a circle- a very exhausting circle.
Continuing in faith but almost losing hope,
Some days are better than others
The enemy pulls one way- he is so strong
My Saviour has his arms around me, holding me tight
The enemy shouts "why didn't you save her?"
And my Saviour whispers, "I did"
Some days are better than others

So, apparently, someone requires a dedication.

Hi, you're cool. Cool like a cucumber, possibly like this dancing cucumber even though that's on a pretty high level of cool.



CLICK TO SEE OBJECT OF YOUR COMPARISON.

Yes, that's right, Kerry. I polluted my space for my deep life ponderings & random recounts for such a dedication. *edit: made it a link, the dancing cucumber was too annoying.

It is written among the limitless constellations of the celestial heavens, and in the depths of the emerald seas, and upon every grain of sand in the vast deserts that the world which we see is an outward and visible dream of an inward and invisible reality. Once upon a time, there was a golden city. In the center of this golden city, atop the tallest minaret were three gold balls. The ancients had prophesied that if the three golden balls were ever taken away, harmony would yield to discord, and the city would fall to destruction... and death! But the mystics had also foretold that the city might be saved by the simplest soul with the smallest and simplest of things. In the city, there dwelt a lowly shoemaker who was known as Tack the cobbler. Also in the city, existed a thief... who shall be nameless.

 My sister loves that movie. Just like she loves all slightly nightmarish, artistic movies like 'Howl's Moving Castle', 'Spirited Away' & 'The Corpse Bride'.

 ---

 Social Justice at lunch was kind of half productive but the free period Catherine, Rachelwangster, Shimmy & Miss Murphy spent was hilarious. Miss Murphy is just so crazily awesome. I love all the English teachers in general actually & it made me think what a chillax enjoyable life you could have as a teacher if you could get over the bad pay. Anyways, we talked about the assembly for a little bit before Murphy went into a complete rant about how much she got annoyed at juniors & how her dad was still paying for her car insurance or something. Funniest ever. She also realised that she had a class to teach but she was like "meh, I might have year 8 or something. Screw them" so she just sat around & told us funny stories.

Went back to Friday Matrix Phys class today which was fantastic except now I realise I fail at physics so will have to revise heaps because I literally don't do anything until just before. It feels like all the time just flies by & I'm barely surviving. I know I complain about this a lot & I'm always whining but, truly, I know that it's my fault so I have to try harder & keep on top of it all. OH MY GOSH, small world. MichelleB & I were talking about somethingsomethingsomething & then we realised we both went to the same violin teacher. I remember my teacher saying that one of her students were going to come to Ruse as a newbie but I completely forgot about it & I NEVER KNEW IT WAS MICHELLE. Wowowowow. A bunch of us were doing nothing at Gloria Jeans, Esther joined [awkwardly because we're all ruse kids + chime baulko] but it was pretty alright because we're all a bit strange. The rest of them left so Esther & I went library to.. mostly gossip rather than study but we just talked about everyone else's lives. We then ate a hideous amount at Saigon [high class with beef noodle soup & tomato rice+crispy chicken ;)]but we split it so we got a bit of both & it was so yummy. I'M SO GLAD TO BE BACK ON FRIDAY MATRIX. I MISS MARGARET, LULU, NGO & random annoying people in the class like Lawrence [B] because he's an ass compared to the new Lawrence so even though he's been here all year & new Lawrence just joined, he automatically got demoted to Lawrence [B] haha. I admit, I love Jess Le, Gay & Cosmo as well but the class was just supersupersuper boring & Friday classes are just so much open & better. I also feel like I'm understanding things which is a good sign. So good to be back & I got so many "Grace is bak" jokes which was pretty cringe-worthy. Also, there's like some war going on between two sides of the class so Lulu had oreos & Ngo had Butternut cookies & they were trying to entice people to their side. It was pretty weird. But Margaret was lovely as always (: Mum picked me up & we had several spastic conversations in the car where we talked about what Miss Murphy said & year 8s; my mum was laughing so hard, I thought she wouldn't drive properly. Okay, recount for today done. I'm going to attempt bio.

Auburn buffet with Suren, Michael, Angela, Mark & Ted at lunch which was.. well, it's a buffet, need I say more ? We actually ate a shameful amount but I was the only one who had to fit into a musical dress afterwards. We met Sarah, Rodger, Shang, Rae, Albert & Jimmy at Parra afterwards but didn't really do anything so just sat around & talked. It was sort of boring to be honest but Sarah, Angela, Rodger & I had to leave really early to get to musical. We were so fail, went in all the wrong directions before getting to the bus stop.

I really can't talk about the whole musical without breaking my computer but the last night was by far the best. Having most of the grade their tonight & everyone being so nostalgic, proud of each other & just so much love everywhere was really amazing. Brittany & Michelle started crying pretty much straight after the curtain call & the whole cast was just belting out "Hello Dolly" backstage afterwards. Lots of photos, hugs & meeting people I haven't seen in a long time afterwards. So much love for everyone in the grade & at Ruse. After party was crazy & people were going spastic with One Direction songs & food. It was really nice to see everyone so happy. I sort of curled up in a little black box because I wasn't in the mood & Nachan, Shang & Kerry joined a bit after because being antisocial is how we roll. It was fantastic & I'm so thankful I did musical even though I had some regrets along the way like the way it took up time & such but it was a life experience. I really can't go over it all so I'm just going to copy & paste messages from facebook so you get an idea.

And there will be more but it was just such a great experience & you just can't compare it to a good school mark or having lots of time on your hands. Everything was just so so worth it.

Day- only thing was atar estimates today which I was relieved about but not exactly crazy happy. I admit I was proud to get one of those certificates but it was really only because I was shaking before & I don't know why. I feel like such a hypocrite because I tell myself to care less but, instinctively, I just stress a lot. A lot of people were pretty upset with theirs & I felt sad for them but definitely not sorry for them because there's no reason to be. First ones in year 11 mean legit nothing -repetition of my last post about exams-

During the free, Rachel, Liz, Dobsies & Michael camped outside Connors office for them which was truly pathetic I guess but it's a normal part of school- to be shamelessly nerdy.

Oh & in maths, we wrote a pros & cons list for Renee & Catherine to choose who the best maths buddy is [both have many many many cons, Catherine moreso].

I was also disappointed because Suren & Yive didn't get to perform their duet at the year meeting & the jerseys are disgusting, like supersuper gross. I would pay double just to get varsity jackets.

Tonight was really a repetition of last night only with less screwing up which was great. Kelly's place again with Melissa, Robyn, Shimmy & Rachel, played Wii party & ate delicious pasta. We then pretty much wobbled over to school due to being so full, changed & got our hair & make-up. As much as I'm scared of make-up, it's always fun getting ready & not looking like you normally do. As always, we spent most of the time backstage, hoping we don't forget or do something wrong. Friday is the only day I really care about because my parents & grandparents were part of the audience but luckily I didn't make any ginormous mistakes as a blending-in chorus member :D Now my face feels swollen & yuck even after I removed make-up & my feet hurt but it's all worth it. Most of the audience were super serious & the principals were worried because no one was laughing at the jokes but it's only because half the rows are taken up by Treskin's 'people' so probably officials & principals from other schools. Simple sentence recounts. Car ride home from musical was so funny because we were carpooling with Sean & Dad was complaining about the whole musical going "they should fire the sound & lighting people.. can you even call that a principal?.." half-jokingly & it was just very embarrassing so Mum had to hit him & shut him up.

Going buffet tomorrow & eating until I can't fit into my musical dress as a resident third wheel with Suren & Michael. Life is beautiful or sort of. I was really sad a few days ago for no apparent reason but just a few events happen & it makes everything worth it again.

Almost midnight so very sorry for this crazily disjointed post but I just kind of did it in this semi-chronological, train of thought, thing so going to go shower & try to wash a hairspray mountain off my hair.

Good night (: